Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize