its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
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