so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize