is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
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I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
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Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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