I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
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