At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
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