Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Can Purell be used as lube?
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Randomize