Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
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