its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
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