the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
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