When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
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I think we need to teach you what straight means again
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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