How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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