Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
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I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
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I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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