windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
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No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
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Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
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