dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
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in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
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While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
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