I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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