there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
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