Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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