I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize