Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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