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  • Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 21, 09 at 8:02pm

    No one is worth the sensation of burning and stinging crotch.

  • 91 82
    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 21, 09 at 11:14pm

    my dick is 65 inches long

  • 85 73
    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 21, 09 at 9:13pm

    Stay classy Massachusetts

  • 90 87
    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 21, 09 at 9:56pm

    9:45 you've never actually measured your boyfriend's penis with a ruler because he won't let you. You are just guessing based off of how much porn you watch and you are guessing wrong.

  • 83 77
    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 22, 09 at 10:04am

    You used it not so much because it is "better" so much as it was due to you being lonely and ugly,

  • 87 87
    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 21, 09 at 8:22pm

    Have fun with your infection. Seriously, not EVERYTHING is a healthy replacement for lube.

  • 90 99
    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 21, 09 at 8:14pm

    Conditioner is better

  • 88 96
    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 21, 09 at 8:03pm

    Makes my pubes shiny and manageable!!!

  • 83 90
    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 21, 09 at 8:21pm

    i wouldn't have a problem with this site if the whole user submitting process wasnt a big lie

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 21, 09 at 8:51pm

    To all you dumbasses who are bragging about ur dick size, or ur boyfriends dick size, suck on this: a woman can only feel 4 inches of it, and any more than 8 inches will do serious internal damage.

  • 73 75
    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 22, 09 at 12:00am

    conditioner is better. i leave the hair silky and smoooooth.

  • 73 75
    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 21, 09 at 11:34pm

    wow 11;30 has clearly never developed a sense of humor....oviously the kid that said 65 inches was joking. no need to take everything literally, jackass

  • 74 81
    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 22, 09 at 4:59pm

    I did it once and it stung for three days then my skin started peeling off and I had to pull skin off my 8 inch dick and part of my ball sack. One of the most painful experiences ever.

  • 76 90
    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 21, 09 at 11:22pm

    keep it in your pants 11:14. if possible.

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 21, 09 at 8:52pm

    Are you people pretending that this isn't normal? I've done this hundreds of times, why lie about it? I prefer liquid body soap like the guy a few posts before me.

  • 71 84
    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 21, 09 at 8:24pm

    Lol, conditioner sounds safer

  • 67 79
    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 21, 09 at 11:25pm

    9:45 don't flatter youself, shut your mouth and get back to being the fat ugly virgin loner you are :)

  • 67 80
    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 21, 09 at 11:34pm

    1117 is obviously a dumbass niggra...they should all be sterile. Maybe just a flash a radiation at birth? Well just the ones born on welfare...

  • 64 75
    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 21, 09 at 8:36pm

    Lol I've used body wash before....wow did I really just say that...I'm fucking pathetic

  • 74 96
    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 21, 09 at 9:43pm

    criso and garnier conditioner also work well

  • 72 92
    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 21, 09 at 8:41pm

    U where better off with spit.

  • 73 95
    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 22, 09 at 2:00am

    Omg really people. No one has ever had a big dick before? Like an 8 incher. Why is everyone getting all butt hurt over what 945 said? Maybe he/she has a big bf. Whoooo caresssss. And whyyyyy do people have to insult him/her?? Fuck.

  • 68 87
    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 22, 09 at 10:01am

    9:47, that would be Billy Madison.

  • 65 81
    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 22, 09 at 9:43am

    i think everyone is missing the point of this website; the whole idea behind it is for people to post the dumb things that they do so that we can get a good laugh. masturbating with shampoo is clearly not the best idea, therefore it is funny. i think everyone needs to relax.

  • 55 62
    Submitted by MovieGuru on May 29, 10 at 10:03pm

    I've used Shampoo before, not smart. I causes cracking on the skin. Not sure if it's actually skin or if the shampoo that leaves some kind of film that is IMPOSSIBLE to wash off. But I'll just say it's very painful to peal off. I was even dumb enough to try it with different brands. Same result. But on my behalf, it's tough to find something to pass as lube in your parent's house when you're 15.

  • 67 86
    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 21, 09 at 10:06pm

    lololol 9:56 - your right

  • 67 86
    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 21, 09 at 9:12pm

    No 8:55, that's the length of the region with enough nerves to feel the length of it. Girth? Definitely. Length? Not so much.

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 21, 09 at 8:33pm

    Ur dick is going to turn purple and fall off.

  • 70 93
    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 21, 09 at 10:11pm

    It's not about the length as much as how he knows how to use it. I wouldn't trade my guy for anything in the world.

  • 65 83
    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 21, 09 at 8:55pm

    @ 8:51: Is that what your gf told you to make you feel better about your four incher?

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 21, 09 at 11:28pm

    Well known fact: Those who state a dick size are tellin nothing but lies ;)

  • 64 82
    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 21, 09 at 9:03pm

    Use your mom's facial scrub lotion next time for much success.

  • 54 64
    Submitted by dodgycabbage on Jun 30, 10 at 11:20am

    Love that:) we need more tv add references lol

  • 68 92
    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 21, 09 at 11:52pm

    This Mexican dude used a k-mart bag for a condom on this one chick.

  • 67 90
    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 21, 09 at 8:13pm

    Hahahahaha must use l'oreal!

  • 65 87
    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 22, 09 at 6:08pm

    249,, that was funny ! :) better than the op!! :)

  • 63 85
    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 22, 09 at 4:54pm

    Don't let it dry on there cause it'll hurt like a bitch later

  • 67 93
    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 21, 09 at 11:21pm

    In soviet russia shampoo uses YOU as lube!!!!!

  • 65 89
    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 21, 09 at 11:02pm

    It truly amazes me how little people know about anatomy.

  • 58 76
    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 22, 09 at 1:19am

    Doesn't that dyin it

  • 60 80
    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 21, 09 at 10:16pm

    @9:11 You're my hero. I've used conditioner before it was in the shower and a fun time ;p Merry Christmas

  • 63 87
    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 21, 09 at 11:30pm

    1125. Why do people like you have to assume like that. How the fuck do we know what anyone looks like? Your prolly just trying to make yourself okay about being a failure at life and a fat fuck yourself. So don't make yourselfff out to be holyer than thou.

  • 68 97
    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 21, 09 at 9:09pm

    Please never reproduce u loser skank whore.

  • 67 95
    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 21, 09 at 9:05pm

    Nice pun :) very funny

  • 55 73
    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 22, 09 at 8:26pm

    im gonna jerk off.. any hot guys wanna suck me? ohioo guy a t y a h o o d o t c o m

  • 61 85
    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 22, 09 at 7:57pm

    Why would a girl get yeast infection of shampoo?

  • 66 95
    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 21, 09 at 8:45pm

    If you're not even able to get wet, maybe you're not that worthed.

  • 66 97
    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 21, 09 at 9:11pm

    I'm jacking off in my bed right now

  • 53 72
    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 22, 09 at 12:22am

    ...thanks a lot, asshole. Now I'll never be able to use Pantene Pro-V again without thinking of some douche like you jacking off with it. Stick to the Vaseline next time, please?

  • 45 57
    Submitted by IcedMango on Nov 6, 10 at 4:47am

    That shit burns if used anally

  • 60 87
    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 22, 09 at 1:56am

    Your pussy is hard? Uh. No.

  • 63 94
    Submitted by Anonymous on Feb 24, 10 at 1:47am

    I'm a girl. I've done that and never got a yeast infection or any type of infection... why are people insisting you will...

  • 58 84
    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 23, 09 at 12:11am

    Has to be a girl... Very guy learns at 12/13 that shampoo makes your dick peel and I fuckin hurts for a couple days... There's an old SNL skit about a "scaling cream" hahahaha it had Steve Martin in it I think

  • 59 86
    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 22, 09 at 9:47am

    "Shampoo is good....but conditiona is betta." Name that quote.

  • 57 82
    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 21, 09 at 11:42pm

    11:34 is just desperate for a big black cock. bitch.

  • 57 83
    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 21, 09 at 11:22pm

    Woa. Why is everyone hating on poor 956? Lol. And WTF cares about your bfs dick size!

  • 59 88
    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 22, 09 at 7:21am

    Did someone really refer to their boyfriend as a footlong? I feel like we are talking about a subway sandwich.

  • 61 92
    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 21, 09 at 11:36pm

    11:30, did everyone use it as a jump rope on the playground?

  • 59 89
    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 23, 09 at 4:15am

    12:11 a girl would never be dumb enough to use shampoo as lube. That stuff goes INSIDE us. Can you say yeast infection from hell??

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 21, 09 at 8:16pm

    did you use no tear soap so your eyes wouldn't burn?

  • 41 54
    Submitted by Lamar15 on Mar 27, 11 at 3:17pm

    ...yeah....

  • 62 96
    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 21, 09 at 10:29pm

    hahaha 10:26 thats fucking glorious

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 21, 09 at 8:48pm

    Seven inch dick??? My bf has a foot long...

  • 56 85
    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 22, 09 at 4:59am

    What is lube used for??

  • 61 96
    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 22, 09 at 12:35am

    I would usually never post on here, but "9:56" is actually right about his/her first statement... And most of you all are just serious idiots. And 11:28- I agree. And as someone else posted earlier, i don't give a fuck about you or any of your boyfriends dick sizes.

  • 61 97
    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 22, 09 at 7:38pm

    If this text was written by a girl...good luck w/ that impending yeast infection.

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 21, 09 at 9:45pm

    @8:51 Is that how you make yourself feel better my bf has between 8.5-9 and I don't have serious internal damage. However your little pea shooter has evidently given you serious psycological damage.

  • 54 85
    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 22, 09 at 7:20am

    Shampoo is the best lube

  • 54 86
    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 22, 09 at 11:03am

    Almost funny--nice progress

  • 58 94
    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 22, 09 at 7:04am

    I have an 8 inch coxk, and I wanna put it in a hott girls bum

  • 56 91
    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 22, 09 at 3:59pm

    2:49 I fuckinlove you

  • 60 99
    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 22, 09 at 12:52pm

    @321 your fucking stupid. Just because you haven't ever had a big dick in your life and settle for below avarage sloppy seconds doesn't mean that a guy can't have a 8.5 inch dick. Get laid with a big dick for once and leave poor 945 alone gutter slut.

  • 54 87
    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 21, 09 at 11:40pm

    One of my friends once used lipgloss as lube

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 21, 09 at 11:08pm

    10:58<3 9:56 your too lame for words. Get laid by and stfu

  • 54 88
    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 29, 09 at 11:44pm

    bottle of lor'eal shampoo - 5$ --- clean pubes afterwards - priceless

  • 53 87
    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 22, 09 at 2:24pm

    11:14, i'm impressed .. but wouldn't a dick as long as that cause internal damage, as suggested by 8:51 ..but we'll be careful ;)

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 21, 09 at 9:35pm

    or at least olive oil! hahahaha

  • 50 82
    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 22, 09 at 3:26am

    @ 3;21 - Uhh yeah there are guys that have 9 inch wangs.

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 22, 09 at 1:04pm

    Ive used it before, it felt good

  • 56 97
    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 23, 09 at 10:02pm

    11 40 soap doesn't kill bacteria unless its anti-bacterial...so shampoo wouldnt do anything i used body wash the other day in the shower, the only problem was the water washed all of it away and there was too much friction, that was not good. and 12 11 ive used shampoo plenty of times, youd have to be an idiot not to wash it off when your done. then your dick wouldn't peel

  • 54 94
    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 21, 09 at 11:30pm

    my dick is 65 FEET long.

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 22, 09 at 4:59am

    Okay this can't be a chic because...seriously ow. It could be someone who has never actually gotten soap products in that area and just made up a text. I'm thinking fail.

  • 54 96
    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 22, 09 at 2:28am

    €==========================3

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 21, 09 at 8:37pm

    I got a 7 inch dick :) jealous much?

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 22, 09 at 1:22am

    Ooo. Eat me out baybe! Suck and lick my hot wet hard pussy!!!!!!

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 21, 09 at 9:10pm

    Massachusetts represent!! Goo Massholes... Bahstin<3

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 21, 09 at 10:58pm

    956 stfu maybe he/she did measure and your just upset because your too ugly to get laid period. So youuu resolve to watching porn. And wishing you even had a bf to guess his dick size.

  • 54 98
    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 21, 09 at 8:53pm

    Uh owww!! Really I get wet in a half a second and I mean dripping wet. U might wanna get that checked out

  • 47 85
    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 22, 09 at 11:40pm

    Because soap kills all tht good bacteria in the vagina that fight of bad bacteria that give you infections. If soap gets like innnn there. Not just a wash up.

  • 49 90
    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 22, 09 at 12:08am

    Conditioner is better. Shampoo can sting.

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 22, 09 at 2:49pm

    My dick is 75 inches long. Or in other words, he's 6'3"....but I sure do love him.

  • 48 89
    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 22, 09 at 3:21am

    9:45pm - Is obviously a fat, sloppy virgin. No guys dick is 9 inches. Get urself a lay

  • 52 98
    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 24, 09 at 11:12pm

    Just use conditioner retards you don't peal

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 21, 09 at 11:17pm

    Woooowwww little arument we got goin on here. All I gotta say iz 956 u gotta stop bein such a hard ass and stop actin like u got sum expirience cuz u dnt got shit. How u know her/hiz bf dnt get sum kix measurin hizself?

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 21, 09 at 8:52pm

    Texas as in Cody from Dallas? Fuck no...I tried shampoo years ago...definately not the most glorious moment in my life.

  • 50 99
    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 21, 09 at 10:26pm

    when I anally masturbate... I just don't wipe first... Lube enough.

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 22, 09 at 3:54am

    Haha 8:51 is so full of shit "a woman can only feel 4 inches" that's the biggest load of crap. My first was 5.5 in. Sex was boring

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 21, 09 at 8:23pm

    NEVER SHAMPOO YOUR DICK/ PUBES. it's easily the most painful experience I have ever had. My dick became blackened and I couldn't get it up for weeks. I thought I accidentally sterilized myself. It was HORRIBLE.

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 21, 09 at 11:30pm

    You mean -6.5? 65 would most likely be taller then you my failure friend. Little kid.

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 21, 09 at 11:22pm

    Aha cute :p and p.s. 11:14 if you're telling the truth... call me ;)

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 22, 09 at 12:02am

    Lather, rinse, repeat. Just don't get it in your eyes.

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 22, 09 at 12:39am

    12:00 lol that's what i was thinking! stop looking at me swaaaaaan!

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 24, 09 at 7:35pm

    there was this kid in middle school who went to the hospital for jackin off with shampoo. now he's known in high school as "SHAMPOO" lmao!

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 21, 09 at 10:19pm

    I've used mayonaise as lube before. It was her idea.