Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
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