Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize