Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
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my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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