Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a lot of him and a little penis
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
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