Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Randomize