You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Randomize