you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
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And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
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you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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