it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
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