I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
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