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  • 75 44
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 17, 09 at 4:22pm

    What is it with guys where they *flip out* about their own jizz? I mean why is it hot for girls to finger themselves and lick their fingers and shit but the girl blows the guy and if she tries to kiss him afterwards he puts her in the hospital? WTF

  • 60 40
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 17, 09 at 5:13pm

    3 . 22 - where'd you go to college? not that that really matters, just curious.

  • 63 47
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 17, 09 at 4:38pm

    i dont know what it is but im grossed out by my own jizz.... cant tell you why but its just gross

  • 63 52
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 17, 09 at 4:27pm

    Yeah seriously. A lot of you insecure/violent assholes don't deserve ANY kind of girl, no matter how skanky.

  • 58 48
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 17, 09 at 9:14pm

    probably the most gangsta thing ever

  • 62 56
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 17, 09 at 3:43pm

    3:37 good having a life that doesn't lead to a jerry springer ho. this is a good post. if guys go down on you why can't you go down on them? i'm sure yelling out the answers would've been great tho and taught him that if he wants to keep the t.v. on he has to pay the price.

  • 62 57
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 17, 09 at 5:29pm

    I feel like every man on here is under the age of 14... which is what I feel in my everyday life, so no biggie.

  • 63 64
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 17, 09 at 5:39pm

    5:23 You're kinda sad. Like, really sad. I figure spitting cum in a guys face warrants at worse getting shoved away, but honestly physical violence of any kind towards a partner is wrong and pathetic. I'm sorry you feel that way. Therapy maybe?

  • 59 59
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 17, 09 at 5:32pm

    I'm having a hard time responding. I think we're murdering their servers or something. -3:22

  • 60 61
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 17, 09 at 5:02pm

    you love your life? very nice. not enough people can honestly say that

  • 55 52
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 17, 09 at 5:23pm

    5:18pm Is most likely a stripper and not in any criminal law field at all. And as long as women do dumb cunt things like 3:22 said, us ladies deserve a good beating. I would expect no less if I did that too a man. They have to draw the line somewhere. 3:22pm seems like a hippy wannabe to me. <3 idiots

  • 58 58
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 17, 09 at 5:09pm

    5:07 You're kind of a weirdo. I was just being humble because everyone's getting so caught up in that retarded argument between me and "orbital bone" dude. And if you were intelligent like me, you'd know humor is the best weapon around. Much love - 3:22

  • 54 50
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 17, 09 at 3:10pm

    Only 3:07 is a "blessed" virgin.

  • 62 68
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 17, 09 at 3:14pm

    3:10's a fucktard who doesn't understand sarcasm.

  • 54 54
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 18, 09 at 1:35am

    Anyone find it funny all the people who are enthralled / flirting with 3:22? Its stupid, this site is to laugh at funny texts NOT to be an E-harmony, keep it off the thread, kthxbye. P.S. -- Don't spit jizz back in a dude's face, and if you would blow a guy just to do that, im thinking he's still the winner considering you just blew him and all...yeah

  • 62 71
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 17, 09 at 5:27pm

    That's what I thought 3:22 skank. Goodbye.

  • 50 47
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 17, 09 at 3:24pm

    its called Snowballing 3:22 and some dudes are into it, and if you dont want it in your mouth just say so

  • 54 57
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 17, 09 at 4:08pm

    3:58 - thanks for the touche, haha. you're right though about the losing focus part. i had a girl who would stop and ask questions, or say "what'd you say?" when i moaned how i liked her technique. i'd just be like "could you continue?". i'll say please, just don't stop

  • 52 54
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 17, 09 at 5:27pm

    ^^ didn't get much love from your dad huh? :[ aw poor bitch

  • 62 76
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 17, 09 at 5:02pm

    5:00 - Only if we swear an oath to each other and initiate it by finding some crack-whore and breaking her "the orbital bone"! - 3:22chick

  • 53 58
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 17, 09 at 3:29pm

    thats a good girl. still should have shouted out the answers though...

  • 48 49
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 17, 09 at 3:07pm

    3:06 everyone's a blessed little virgin, wtf are you talking about.

  • 51 56
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 17, 09 at 5:18pm

    Oh, 3:22 chick. I love your use of anatomical terminology. I am also all about divine justice, and I concur...3:58 is indeed a candidate for said justice. Perhaps his mother should have swallowed and spared all other women the indignity of laying with a slavering cur that likes to beat up on little girls. I went to college too. For a degree in a field that allows me to help put assholes like him where they belong...in a cell, being someone's bitch. Ah, Karma.

  • 51 57
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 17, 09 at 5:14pm

    5:09 And yet you honor me with your attention. *blush* 5:13 Apparently going to college at all doesn't really matter. (Not trying to be rude, just not wanting to give real-life info out.) -3:22

  • 53 61
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 17, 09 at 3:58pm

    3:53 touche. if it rattles the throat a little it could feel good too. but a lot of guys lose focus when they're watching t.v., especially if the girl going down on them is talking.

  • 51 57
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 17, 09 at 3:58pm

    I feel that I would find it incredibly funny if she took her mouth off my cock to answer a question, and then went back to sucking? Am I the only guy who wouldnt mind, nor care if she did that?!?! haha

  • 51 57
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 17, 09 at 2:59pm

    Would've been more impressive if you actually blew him in the cash cab while he answered all the questions in high pitch tones.

  • 49 54
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 22, 09 at 5:56pm

    ive done that, but actually stopped to yell out the answers.

  • 48 52
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 18, 09 at 9:32pm

    the other day I was blowing my boyfriend and American Dad was on TV in the background and they made a joke and both my boyfriend and I laughed at it. Clearly we were both not very into the head.

  • 52 60
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 17, 09 at 4:10pm

    4:07 What are you a 12 year old trying to act all grown up? Real men don't do that shit.

  • 53 62
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 17, 09 at 3:06pm

    3:01, yeah because performing oral sex makes someone a ho. Only about 90% of population is a ho.

  • 49 55
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 17, 09 at 6:16pm

    - 3:22 - Im glad you liked my story! haha its def true.. from a girls point of view, wold you ever do that? tell a guy he's gotta try is own in order for you to swallow it?

  • 54 65
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 17, 09 at 3:22pm

    I've always wanted to blow a guy's who's a shameless asshole just so I could look him in the eye and spit all his jizz back in his face afterwards. Because that's divine fucking justice.

  • 45 48
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 17, 09 at 5:32pm

    Damn I think everyone needs to calm down, the tough guys need to put their e-peens away.

  • 51 60
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 17, 09 at 5:20pm

    5:18 - no one should be anyone's bitch. but i get your point.

  • 55 69
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 17, 09 at 4:07pm

    4:05, you suck me good enough and i might buy you something....maybe some new tits...or liposuction.

  • 49 58
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 17, 09 at 4:48pm

    4:46pm What are you too slow to get? Maybe I can walk you through it. Have you read the previous back and forth?

  • 45 50
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 17, 09 at 4:33pm

    holy shit, this is such a good convo! and just a little story for you all.... A friend of mine was dating this girl, who gave him the decision to make, that if he wanted her to blow him and cum in her mouth / swallow his load, that he would have to swallow his own load once.... ....needless to say, she was swallowing cum the rest of the relationship. But only after he threw up for hours in her bathtub. haha

  • 39 39
    Submitted by niceman on Mar 22, 12 at 8:23pm

    Please go to a black man and lick just the tip. Then run away, laughing hysterically all the while....

  • 52 65
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 17, 09 at 6:04pm

    3:20, no, because HE DOESN'T HAVE ANY MORE. That's how it works, you fuckless virgins.

  • 44 49
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 17, 09 at 4:33pm

    4:30 "the orbital bone" for short? When it's the same f-ing length as "sub-orbital torus" and not necessarily easy to remember? WTF is wrong with your brain, asshat? College teaches you how to actually sound smart, so maybe you shoulda hung out there a bit longer. <3 3:22 chick.

  • 47 55
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 17, 09 at 4:30pm

    4:13pm You don't catch cases when a girl knows what you're capable of. I didn't mention what else occured. She knew she brought it on herself. 4:14/3:22pm The sub-orbital torus is just called "the orbital bone" for short. What was that about college? Dumb bitch.

  • 47 55
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 17, 09 at 4:13pm

    3:58 - so you sent her to the ER? did she press charges? payback is one thing, but i'm not elbowing a woman and catching a case for it. that's just not worth it...and wrong

  • 47 56
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 17, 09 at 5:09pm

    3:22 chick sounds like a dumb cunt to me. And annoying. Not the least bit funny while trying to sound smart.

  • 38 38
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 17, 09 at 5:05pm

    Ahhh, I love you guys. But I feel kinda bad for stealing the thread. Dude did anyone even SEE the story that 4:33 posted??? I almost died! - 3:22 chick

  • 50 62
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 17, 09 at 4:18pm

    4:14 - thanks, maybe i should have said please more often...she did have multiples though

  • 53 68
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 17, 09 at 3:41pm

    3:37 Women will realize that when men realize they're only good for having huge dicks, being quiet and staying hard for more then half an hour.

  • 45 53
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 17, 09 at 4:33pm

    i've got a boner for 3:22 chick

  • 51 66
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 24, 09 at 5:36pm

    how do you guys have such long pointless convos on here? get a life.

  • 48 60
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 17, 09 at 5:00pm

    3:22 chick, can we be best friends for lyyyyfe??!

  • 52 68
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 17, 09 at 3:56pm

    3:51 try a fundamentalist christian, or a girl with really really low self-esteem.

  • 43 51
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 17, 09 at 5:19pm

    -3: 22- That's fair enough. Obviously the odds are against it but I was curious if we went to the same college. Or if your school has the image fitting the personality you're displaying (that's not a bad thing...or is it?). Don't worry, I'm not a psycho. Can't say anything for others who might read this site though.

  • 42 49
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 17, 09 at 4:46pm

    4:14 - you sound like an awesome girl. girls are more attractive when they have a little sass in their step.

  • 41 48
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 17, 09 at 9:35pm

    y'all are so weird, who talks like this? jeez.

  • 53 72
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 17, 09 at 6:47pm

    6:39 here again... If he broke her actual cheek bone, then what he broke was the zygomatic bone (or possibly the zygomatic process) , not the supraorbital ridge (brow bone). Didn't want to be a dick earlier, but if we're pointing out things fledgling serial killers like to smash on their lovers, we may as well get it accurate, no?

  • 54 74
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 17, 09 at 5:03pm

    how about we get a sundae and you can throw whipped cream at me. i'll give you the real cream.

  • 49 64
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 17, 09 at 3:02pm

    Psh. Guys with red wings are the only guys worth fucking.

  • 42 51
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 17, 09 at 5:20pm

    You are my dream girl. Funny, considerate and likes giving head

  • 48 63
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 17, 09 at 4:07pm

    3:58 and 4:03 we all know 3:22 has never gotten licked. that's why she's upset. although if she shoots cum at her victims she'll never get to feel that luxury.

  • 44 56
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 17, 09 at 6:47pm

    Im watching Cash Cab right now... Its just not the same without someone blowing me!! haha

  • 48 64
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 17, 09 at 4:50pm

    I'm not afraid of my stuff...well i guess i am a little but it's not like it's a big obstacle in my life. i was with a girl who swallowed and then went to make out with me and i was just closed mouth kissing her. she said "it's more fun if we don't have hangups about stuff like that" and we just went at it...she was right (if only about that much, haha).

  • 41 51
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 17, 09 at 4:56pm

    4:33 I've got a boner for you too... so 4:16 would have you believe. 4:39 He can't help it... he believe in kissin' his sweetie with his fist. 4:44 You're right man, you're totally right. I guess Im just one of those fuckin' crazies who believes in retarded stuff like honoring the proper idioms for biological terms instead of dumbing them down or whatever. You can punch me in the face to teach me a lesson. *whispers* you know you want to..... 4:49 Thanks. I love my life. - 3:22 chick

  • 33 36
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 21, 09 at 12:31am

    NEW JERSEYYYYYYYYY<3

  • 43 56
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 17, 09 at 4:14pm

    4:08 haha it's hard to hear when you're muffled between legs, understandable. with a please you'll never go wrong.

  • 43 56
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 17, 09 at 3:27pm

    if that was 845 i would have thought this was my roomate

  • 46 63
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 17, 09 at 3:58pm

    3:22pm I broke a girls orbital bone for attempting that shit. That's her cheek bone right by her eye if you don't know. I used my elbow to do the damage. Now that's justice.

  • 44 61
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 17, 09 at 4:46pm

    4:44....................................Good god please tell me your joking.

  • 49 71
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 17, 09 at 4:42pm

    4:30 "I didn't mention what else occured. She knew she brought it on herself." Do tell...

  • 46 65
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 17, 09 at 4:03pm

    3:22 ever heard the term cunt-punt...try that shit with me and you will learn the meaning with a quickness. but hey...in the mouth, on the face, on the tits...i support a woman's right to choose.

  • 36 46
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 17, 09 at 5:23pm

    5:18 Don't take the sub-orbital whatever term too seriously! Because I messed up bad on that. Supraorbital ridge! Supraorbital ridge! Also, criminal justice major? I hold a degree in that :) 5:19 Odds are against it, indeed. I will give you this... I live in Texas. And graduated from a highly liberal-arts college. With a conservative degree. BAHAHA. 5:20 *high 5* -3:22

  • 46 66
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 17, 09 at 3:28pm

    @ 3:22 don't be surpised if you get a swift fist to the face following your quest for justice. Most women just asked to be warned beforehand. Must be a dyke.

  • 39 53
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 24, 09 at 8:20am

    embarrassing? its the most entertaining really XD

  • 45 65
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 17, 09 at 6:01pm

    yeah, 3:22, I have always wanted to do that too...and I have no objection to swallowing cum...I just want to see the look on his face...one day I am going to do it!

  • 50 76
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 17, 09 at 4:16pm

    the 3:22 chick has a dick....or a really big clit.

  • 45 66
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 17, 09 at 4:12pm

    Aight, I'm the chick who posted 3:22 and I'm back FOR MORRREEEEE.... Anyway, read my post again. I said I'd only do that to a guy who was a SHAMELESS ASSHOLE. Need me to further explain it? It means I'd purposely blow a guy who's fucking evil just to do that to him. I'd never do it to a guy I actually liked or who didn't deserve it. And 4:07, I've gotten licked by guys and girls, many many times, because I'm awesome. Have fun crying about how jealous you are :D

  • 41 59
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 18, 09 at 4:57am

    I wish she'd have a word with my wife.

  • 49 75
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 17, 09 at 3:20pm

    I just want to know if she let him cum on her face. And whether she rubbed in in and asked for more.

  • 43 64
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 17, 09 at 3:01pm

    Did you let him finish on your face and then piss in your mouth. If so I award you the ho of the year award.

  • 44 67
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 18, 09 at 11:00am

    3:22 - so, do you swallow?

  • 44 67
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 17, 09 at 4:49pm

    3.22 chick - i like the whole bisexual angle as well. licked "many, many times" good for you

  • 50 79
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 17, 09 at 4:05pm

    oh look how original. pussy men on this page attempting to disrespect women by boasting about violent actions-- that they probably would never do because 99.8% of men are all talk no walk with NO BALLS. it's quite predictable & pathetic and we're bored of your antics. YAWN. now go buy me some shit and shut the fuck up like you're supposed to :]

  • 44 67
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 17, 09 at 3:28pm

    3:22 - I knew of a girl who got pissed off at the guy, gave him head, then positioned his cock do he blew his load in his face.

  • 46 72
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 17, 09 at 5:19pm

    5:15 I'll give you that. I immediately knew what bone he was talking about and pulled the proper term out of my ass, but it wasn't the right term. "Supraorbital ridge" is proper term. But please have mercy on me... though I was belittling, he's the one who enjoys calling women dumb bitch/cunt and getting way too hostile in something as silly as an argument. -3:22

  • 38 56
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 17, 09 at 4:14pm

    Oh and 3:58, I believe the bone you're referring to is actually called the sub-orbital torus. I went to fucking college. Much love - the 3:22 chick.

  • 41 62
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 17, 09 at 4:07pm

    Let me guess 3:37... your single? haha well I do all that for my man but he treats me with tons of respect... so he deserves it.

  • 42 65
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 17, 09 at 5:15pm

    5:09/3:22 chick, Humor is only the best weapon if it's funny, which is where you're lacking. And I just read all the orbital bone crap and he was dead right while you were wrong and trying to belittle him. It's sad really.

  • 36 53
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 17, 09 at 5:07pm

    3:22 chick, So you find yourself wrong and have to try to use humor to make it better. Intelligent.

  • 33 47
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 17, 09 at 3:51pm

    3:41 Check, check (I can rule the house with my hand instead of my voice), and check. So when do you want to be dominated like the good cunt you are?

  • 40 61
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 17, 09 at 3:37pm

    When are women gonna realize their only purpose on this earth is to cook, suck and fuck a man's dick, take a cumshot whever he pleases, and clean the fucking house!

  • 40 62
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 17, 09 at 6:01pm

    lets all have a moral arguement, shall we? agreed with 535, everyone in here should promptly kill themselves

  • 43 69
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 18, 09 at 10:31pm

    3:28PM, I wanna do that! lmao

  • 38 60
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 17, 09 at 4:39pm

    4:30 Okay we get it you're a big tough man who hits his women when the get out of line. You're an example of proper manhood and everyone else should just bow to your posturing.

  • 39 62
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 17, 09 at 3:44pm

    3:22: I know at least a few guys you could do that too. I can't say how they'll react, but they're the kind of guys you'd want to do that to. BTW, the girl who posted this text is probably one of the coolest girls around. she felt bad she was on her period and made it up to him with head? that's awesome! Not that she should feel bad about her own biology but that's a nice girl...kinky too leaving cash cab on, i like it

  • 41 69
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 17, 09 at 10:26pm

    i love you new jersey

  • 32 51
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 17, 09 at 3:53pm

    3:43 - pay the price? she can try to say the answer and it'll sound garbled. that'd actually be sexy.

  • 38 67
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 18, 09 at 2:59am

    June 17 3:22, So if you hit a woman in the face it makes you a man? what does that make me if i hit you?

  • 41 74
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 17, 09 at 5:04pm

    3: 22, HAHAHAHAHAH FACK you're hilarious I love it.

  • 37 66
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 17, 09 at 3:29pm

    3:22 your the kind of girl that I would dick smack after I came in your face. And when you gave me lip about it I would piss down your throat.

  • 38 71
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 17, 09 at 5:22pm

    here's the question i know at least a few people are wondering - does "Ms. 22 Past 3 o'clock" swallow?

  • 36 71
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 17, 09 at 5:26pm

    3. 22 - so, spit or swallow

  • 33 67
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 17, 09 at 4:44pm

    3:22 chick How is "orbital bone" as long as "sub-orbital torus"? If you're counting the word "the", then count it for both "the sub-orbital torus" and "the orbital bone" since that is how it would be said. Just cause you think you sound smart doesn't mean you do. Dumb fucking cunt.

  • 41 83
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 17, 09 at 2:54pm

    good job. a smart skank haha

  • 29 62
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 18, 09 at 11:24am

    good decision...you dont interupt something as important as a blow job by answering questions from the most embarrassing trivia show ever..

  • 38 82
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 17, 09 at 2:59pm

    God I hope they air that episode!!

  • 34 77
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 17, 09 at 5:09pm

    4:33 had a great story! And yes, I was laughing as much as I could given the office environment. If the guy would go down on her and get her all over his face then she should be able to swallow without making him do it too. But I guess given that situation a lot of guys would do the same thing...I don't want to think about it, especially considering he threw up for hours! Sounds awful.

  • 34 86
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 18, 09 at 1:53am

    What is wrong with you all? Bunch of retards.