If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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