Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
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