We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
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