Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Everything about him screamed your future.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
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