we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Randomize