She went from zero to smokin in five shots
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
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