Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
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