At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
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