so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
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