I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Randomize