then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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