I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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