I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
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