if you like me you must not know who I am
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Randomize