What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Randomize
