I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
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Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
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How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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