Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
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well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
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After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
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