She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize