i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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