so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
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